Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Once upon a time...

No no dont be scared, I won't start narrating a fairytale here. A comment I got on a post of mine titled "D-I-S-C-O" reminded me of this incident and i thought i'll write about it here.
When I was in the first year of college we had this teacher who had a really bad language... i mean she could hardly speak one sentence in proper english
Once, our whole class had been given a case study to work on, and while discussing it everyone was in a rush to talk about his or her own analysis and conclusions. so it had really become quite noisy and everyone was speaking all at once.
Suddenly our teacher shouts at the top her voice. She says "ONCE UPON A TIME!!!". All of us turned and looked at her... we were really puzzled. Pin-drop silence in the class. Excuse me? what's with this story telling? We are in the middle of a case study! Once upon a time what? Everyone is staring at her blankly waiting for her to continue, and she's staring back with anger in her eyes. What's going on? why doesn't she continue? once upon a time what?!
Then she stares at us for about 5 seconds and begins with the case study again. Hello? what happened once upon a time?
After a lot of thinking we realised that she actually meant "One at a time"!!! hahaha
I sometimes wonder do I laugh or do I bang my head against the wall when things like these happen.

Regards

Devil's own

Morally impaired

I had come across the term ‘open relationship’ somewhere some time back, don’t remember where, and couldn’t understand what that meant. Not single, not attached, but in an open relationship. I thought the term sounded weird, but didn’t go any deeper into it to understand the meaning. A few days back, there was a newspaper article on the topic – redefining monogamy. It said that open relationships are the in thing, not with yuppie college goers, but with civilized married couples. Not just in the Cosmo part of the country and the world but even in the small towns like Ambala, Meerut et al. I was aghast. I was shocked. I thought that article must be by a witty columnist making fun of it, or at least one that depicted the deteriorating lifestyles, and completely morally impaired people that are hopelessly and continuously devaluing human relationships. But what is the world coming to! It actually advocated the issue in positive light and how it cures boredom and monotony in the life of married couples. I’d rather not marry at all if I had to live this kind of a life, or face even a nanosecond of it.
But first, for those of you who have been unaware of this new trend like me, here’s an introduction to the basics of open marriage, also known as managed monogamy (!!!). This makes it sound filthier to me… managed monogamy?! What rubbish. Administration and management at home to run the marriage smoothly?! Provide benefits and incentives to ensure job satisfaction at home?! Here’s a part from that article.

*****

“New age couples are defining their out-of-marriage encounters as part of managed monogamy, where the spouse approves all external romantic and sexual encounters. According to a report, couples shouldn’t take monogamy for granted. Instead, they should take the urge to stray for granted. For couples who want to be in the happily-ever-after category, this is the new truth…
… It’s a positive trend, as it allows couples to look at inadequacies in their relationship and seek sexual and romantic partners who can fulfill them…
… Most couples explain that they’re switching to managed monogamy as short-term adventure that will prevent them from straying away forever…
… Says naina, ‘… Yes I am having an affair with my colleague. I discussed this with my husband and he’s okay about my dating this guy. Aditya has a crush of his own, so he’s actually quite preoccupied with her. We both understand our ‘other’ attractions as for us it is a mutual decision to date other people and yet remain married to each other.’”

*****

Excusez moi, why get married in the first place if you cant live with one person all your life?
Crush? Dating? MAN! Outrageous! Prevent them from straying forever? Ha! What more is left to stray from? It is shameful enough to read about it, and when I think of how are they going to raise children and what are they going to teach them I get all dizzy. Either the children would be completely ashamed of their parents, or they’ll be as morally impaired as their parents. Both these situations aren’t healthy. I hope these ultra hip couples remain busy with their dating and affairs and choose not to have children. I still don’t understand, that when it is so difficult to stay with one person, WHY is the need to get married? Social or financial or emotional security?! Disgusting!

If this is urbanization or modernization, then I’d rather live in the middle ages.

Man very tactfully finds explanations to vindicate everything he wants to do. Not that he would stay away from it thinking it to be bad if it is not justified, just that if it is justified it will be convenient and hassle free for him, keeping him completely devoid of guilt feeling, and any blames. This is exactly why there can never be anything which can be termed as good or bad. Something is bad only until it finds explanations and justifications for being necessary or unavoidable, or at least acceptable, and then it handily transforms first into a necessary evil, and then into something good or atleast something pretty normal. But shouldn’t there be a limit to this? But of course, who will set the limit? But, to think of it, isn’t that what morals and ethics are supposed to do? Aren’t they supposed to put boundaries where man’s greed fails?
As the line in the song ' Affirmation' by savage garden goes... 'i believe that trust is more important than monogamy'... yeah sure it is. but not that monogamy isn't important. And i cannot trust people who indulge or even believe in "managed monogamy"!!! Honesty is a virtue, yes. But honesty won't get you anywhere if you are doing unethical things. Kill someone and be honest about it, betray your spouse and be honest about it! NO dude! it doesn not work that way.

Not that people didn’t stray or have extra marital affairs without this concept of managed monogamy, but now they have a public license to do as they please and be proud of it and flaunt it. Guilt comes nowhere in the picture, as the couple is aware of what the spouses are up to, and all they will do about it is find themselves a date too. The concept of family has been totally lost here. Nobody has the benefit of blaming the spouse for cheating because there’s nothing hidden here, nothing secret. I wish there arises an ethical revolution which gets everyone back to their senses and save them from doom. As for me, I’m pretty content with my old fashioned ways.

Regards,

Devil's own

Oops!

I was coming back home with my friend from somewhere. We were discussing something and we began arguing, we were annoyed, and she was really bugged and frustrated because of something. We were totally engrossed with our discussion and didn’t realize we were on the road. Actually the volume was pretty fine for the road as long as we were driving. Had we been speaking in a lower volume we wouldn’t have been able to hear our own voices coz of the roar of vehicles, the horns, the air rushing past, and of course… as it was the day before 26th January – the republic day, there were patriotic songs blaring out of the loudspeakers and horn shaped things everywhere which was pretty irritating. I hate it even when people play bhajans and prayers at loud volumes for everyone in a 3 mile radius to hear. I can’t stand that! Fine, you have faith, you are singing praise of your gods, and you are praying, but why can’t you keep it personal??? Why disturb everyone else? Not that I have anything against prayers and bhajans, just that I can’t understand all the shouting and screaming and it doesn’t even sound like music anymore. Besides, I don’t understand what people are trying to achieve by sitting in front of god’s picture and shout and blare for hours. I don’t think anyone can find peace in that. I am a believer in god too, but it is a personal matter to me. Now look how I have completely drifted away from the topic I was talking about!
Yeah, so we were lost in our conversation and we arrived at a traffic signal, still talking. She was telling me how bugged and how bad she was feeling, and I said “Why?” She said “Because...”, and she paused and turned to look at me. I was confused for a nanosecond, and then realized everyone around had turned their heads towards us and were staring at us as if waiting to hear further. Like everyone is looking at us and saying “Yeah, tell us why? We are also interested!”. We were totally embarrassed, and had stopped talking and staring at the people around. There was an elderly couple on our left, where the lady was staring at us while holding her saree so that it didn’t slip off her head, a college going dude to our right who had lifted his helmet’s flap (whatever it is called) and looking at us with curious eyes, a kid to sitting behind his dad and staring at us was in front of us to the right, two petrol pump attendants beside him, two girls beside the petrol pump attendants. I didn’t have the heart to turn around and look at more faces staring at us. I wanted to disappear. I just dug my head in my friend’s shoulder… haha… she didn’t even have that advantage. She was driving she couldn’t even cover her face with her hands. The 70 or so seconds that we had to wait at the signal seemed like an eternity, and we couldn’t wait to run away from there. We were thankful to god when we got to escape from that place, and five minutes later were laughing so bad our faces hurt, and we had tears in our eyes from the laughing. And I thought this just happened in movies!
Things that happen to me!

Regards,

Devil's own

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Doofus!

Today, my friend and I were sitting in my room eating burgers and talking. She had a class at six, and it was half an hour to go when we began talking. We lost track of time, and then she had to miss her class. So we talked some more, and then decided to go out for some coke. We drove around a bit, while thinking of a place to go to. We agreed on one and went there. We were pretty filled after eating the burgers and ordered just coke. As usual I picked up the menu and started browsing through it. I do that a lot, whether I wanna eat or not, I have a habit of reading the menus when they are in front of me, and almost all the time I come across weird names of dishes, and really funny spelling mistakes. That is why I go through the menus. This time I came across things like “ Janta Zing Sandwich, Bread Kachha (Yes, this was the spelling!! Haha… rotfl), Butter Slice Totast Sandwich, scezan noodles and stuff,…and a whole bunch of other spelling mistakes.

The place was really weird. It had iron chairs, that were painted mauve, and had red cushions on them, and there was plastic cover on the cushions too, as if infants come in to eat there! In front of the entrance was a wall where there were bathroom tiles of all colours and designs, which obviously looked like a display that I would have rather seen in a hardware or lifestyle store. There was an apology of a painting on a wall… I’d rather not put it into the category of art, it was pitiful. But the place wasn’t dirty or small or anything, and this ‘décor’ had definitely not arisen out of lack of cash.

Fine, so we finished our cokes and went over to pay the bill. I asked how much... 24 rupees. I said okay, but the bottle says the price is 8 bucks. So how come 24 for two cokes? A guy went over to the table where we were sitting, picked up a bottle, and said hmm. Then again came over to us and stood silent. I said “so… how much?” 24 rupees. I stared at him and very respectfully asked why? The idiot sitting behind the counter said “hamaare yahan bottle vottle ka rate nahi chalta, menu mein barah rupeh likha hai”, Kyu menu central government ne chhaap ke diya hai kya? And he said “Is jagah ka kiraya pacchhees hazaar rupaye hai, bees hazaar (god knows what he said) mein lag jaate hai” Big Deal!!! Why was the moron telling me all that? Isn’t it obvious that there would be expenses if you’re running any kind of business? The idiot was actually shouting, and all the people sitting there were staring at him, and I was totally confused and all I could say was “What?!” The guy was rude like hell, and was talking as if he had done us a favor by letting us sit there and have coke. So much for customer care! Well, I couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore, nor did I want to create a scene with that miser. So we paid our share of his shop rent (!) and left the insane place, and swore to never ever go back there.
Regards,
Devil's own

Please hear what I am not saying...

I read this in one of the Chicken soup for the soul series. Pretty good.


Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
Masks that I am afraid to take off,
And none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that is second nature to me,
But don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
That confidence is my name and coolness is my game,
That the water’s calm and I’m in command,
And that I need no one.
But don’t believe me.
My surface my seem smooth, but my surface is my mask,
Ever varying and ever concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
A nonchalant sophisticated façade, to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only hope and I know it.
That is, if it is followed by acceptance,
If it is followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
From my own self built prison walls,
From the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me
Of what I cannot assure myself,
That I’m really worth something.
I don’t like to hide.
I don’t like to play superficial phony games,
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me,
But you’ve got to help me.
You’ve got to hold out your hand
Even when that’s the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
The bland stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.

Each time you’re kind and gentle and encouraging,
Each time you try to understand because you really care,
My heart begins to grow wings, very small wings,
Very feeble wings,
But wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling
You can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.

Who am I, you may wonder.
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet.
For I am every woman you meet.

- Jill Zevallos-Solak
Regards,
Devil's own

Get out of my way!

I get so bugged so many times while driving. It seems that whenever I’m in a rush to reach someplace (and when I’m not too), everybody else on the road has all the time in the world. Every single person in the city has to cross the road or even take a walk in the middle of it at the exact time when I am passing that stretch of the road. And okay, fine, I’ll keep up with it. I’m probably just getting too chaotic because I’m in a hurry, but seriously I always feel that whenever I’m honking the horn its to take out my frustration instead of asking someone to get out of my way. Atleast I’m sure that is what everyone in front of me thinks. The loud noise of the horn doesn’t even cause anybody to bat their eyelids!!! It doesn’t even bother pedestrians. And as it is I fail to understand why there are people walking in the middle of the road, and how can parents allow kids of about ten to ride their bicycles on highways. They’ve caused me two really bad accidents already, and completely destroyed a favorite dress! I cannot take this! What am I, invisible or something? Plus, people somehow suddenly decide to stop in the middle of the road, change their minds, take U turns everywhere, very conveniently use the other side of the road to get ahead of vehicles in front of them when there isn’t any space in front of them, leave their indicators on and forget about them, give the left indicator and turn right, and don’t bother to indicate in any manner when they actually have to take a turn… and continuously irritatingly and stupidly honk their horns at traffic signals!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhh!!!!
Really bugged,
Devil's own

Please Listen

I found this in the chicken soup series, and instantly liked it and could relate to it. But yeah, as much as its important for you to have someone listen to you, there are so many times I feel the need to be told what to do. Maybe that is what I was going to do as it is, but I feel safe, I feel secure, and I feel assured, when the words come from someone I love and someone I trust. When someone I love gives me advice, it feels good. I feel cared for. I feel there is someone who’ll be there, and who’ll catch me when I fall, and help me get back on my feet.


Please Listen


When I ask you to listen to me
And you start giving me advice,
You have not done what I have asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way,
You’re trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
You have failed me,
Strange as it may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen.
Don’t talk or do – just hear me.
Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get
You both Dear Abby and Billy Graham
In the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself; I’m not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
But not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can
And need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact
That I feel what I feel,
No matter how irrational,
Then I can stop trying to convince you
And get about this business
Of understanding what’s behind
This irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious
And I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when
We understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes,
For some people – for God is mute,
And he doesn’t give advice or try to fix things.
God just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute
for your turn – and I will listen to you.
Regards,
Devil's own

D-I-S-C-O?!?!

I was sitting in front of my pc as usual, and playing sudoku while listening to songs playing on winamp. I was completely engrossed in the puzzle and was barely aware of the music playing in the background, despite the volume being more than audible even outside the main door of my place.
As I finished the 7th sudoku puzzle in succession, my attention drifted to the music playing. I have a large collection of different songs from various genres in my computer, and there are a lot of songs I don’t ever listen to, and even loads of those which I have never heard even once. Furthermore, a lot of times, I am not even aware of their existence in my machine.
Okay, so we come back to what I was saying. So the song that started playing was called ‘Disco’ by a band called N-trance. This was not one of those I hadn’t heard before, but for the first time I actually paid attention to what the dude was saying. Before this, whenever I had heard the song, never paid attention, as it sounded like another of those fast numbers you can find use for when on the dance floor. And of course, after I actually heard it, I wished I hadn’t. Ha ha.
So here are the lyrics…

“D-I-S-C-O… D-I-S-C-O… D-I-S-C-O… D-I-S-C-O…
[A whole load of full speed crappy blah blah, which I guess isn’t even intended to get through to the people goes here, which is rephrased or maybe not - a lot of times and inserted after the chorus everywhere.]
She’s D, desirable
She’s I, irresistible
She’s S, super-sexy
She’s C, such a cutie
She’s Oooooooooooooooo [probably stretched this long for the lyricist being at a loss of a proper and rhyming adjective beginning with ‘O’ that can fit in here]
She is Disco… She’s Disco… She is Disco” (And this continues, and fades away with the end of the song)

So…
The girl, according to the word web is “A public dance hall for dancing to recorded popular music”. Haha. Is this supposed to make sense? Couldn’t they put in better words in here? She’s disco??? This is really absurd!!

I somehow get myself to stop analyzing the lyrics and searching for a sensible meaning for the song, and decide to do that later. I think of deleting the song from the hdd, but then decide otherwise and let it be. But what I do is switch to familiar and understandable music for the moment, and jump to ‘Gin Soaked Boy’ by ‘The Divine Comedy’.

Regards,
Devil's own