Six or seven years back I had read a book by some Russian author and the book was called the maze. This was the kind of image on it's cover...
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
The Maze
Six or seven years back I had read a book by some Russian author and the book was called the maze. This was the kind of image on it's cover...
The Indian woman...
Original by M.F.Hussain, recreated by me.
I was sitting in front of the telly and had this rough paper and pencil in my hand, i made this without even touching the eraser, turned out to be good! I wish i had used better paper.... but here's it...
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The Brobdingnagian Prescription...
I dreamt yesterday that I had developed leukemia. This was not one of my pleasant dreams but, I am a total dreamer. My dreams seem very real, and at times I forget whether something that happened in a dream, or was it real. A lot of times things happen and I wonder hey how come this is happening this had (or had not) happened already. Then I realise, that it was just dream. The same way, when things are going exceptionally right, (or otherwise) i ask myself - is this for real?
So let me get back to what i was telling you. I dreamt that i had leukemia. People around me were upset, consoling me, and crying. And i sat in my bedroom chair without an opinion or expression. I was fed up with people coming up to me and being sweet to me because i was going to die. Whenever someone did that, all i could think of was how the person had been rude, insulting, knave or bitchy before, and that how he or she has very casually put on the goody goody mask.
(All I was worried about was my hair.... not death!)
The dream wasn't really dramatical, nor did it have a happy or sad ending, actually, it didn't have an ending at all... it was like a pretty normal day in my life.
This is where the dream ended
I woke up actually believing that I had leukemia. Not in a way that it had suddenly been discovered, or had just come to my knowledge, but like i had been living it. What i saw in my dream was what must have happened the day or a few days before. I was feeling sick. I could actually feel the cancerous cells conquering my body through my blood. I got up and stood in front of the mirror. I looked pretty normal, but i saw myself as a cancer patient. And i percieved dark circles, falling hair and the likes. I was brushing my teeth and I thought.... Hey! i am feeling better today! Better than what? and then i thought... Wait!!! it was a dream!
Think of what psychology can do to us! What we think, that we become.
But the dream did have roots in my actual life.
I have not been in the pink of my health. I get tired, i have backaches, i dont eat, and have stamina in the negative. I know all this is because of my ignorance in the matters of eating and sleep. I sleep 4 hours a day on an average, i have just one meal a day. I hate milk. there's something about the way it smells.... many people tell me... why do you have to smell it before you drink it. But hey come on... i dont poke my nose into it, if i drink it, the smell, enters my nose, and as soon as the feel of the taste touches my tongue, i get repelled.This is making my health worse.I knew I was short of Calcium, vitamins and iron, and my sister had told me to get my blood checked for levels of haemoglobin.So this is where blood comes into picture.In my dream I developed blood cancer.
So in the evening I went to the doctor. He gave me a prescription which looked like weird things scribbled on a small piece of paper, but turned out to me massive! He gave me a big bottle of a tonic which is supposed to make me hungry. The sight of it makes me want to barf!There are two tablets atleast 15mm in length, and 10mm in width, which are supposed to be taken with a big glass of milk. These are calcium and vitamin supplements. All this because of a silly dream i had!!!!!!!
Well, atleast I know that what I have is weakness and not anything more than that!
I hope I get well soon!
Dreams....dreams.....dreams!!!!!
So let me get back to what i was telling you. I dreamt that i had leukemia. People around me were upset, consoling me, and crying. And i sat in my bedroom chair without an opinion or expression. I was fed up with people coming up to me and being sweet to me because i was going to die. Whenever someone did that, all i could think of was how the person had been rude, insulting, knave or bitchy before, and that how he or she has very casually put on the goody goody mask.
(All I was worried about was my hair.... not death!)
The dream wasn't really dramatical, nor did it have a happy or sad ending, actually, it didn't have an ending at all... it was like a pretty normal day in my life.
This is where the dream ended
I woke up actually believing that I had leukemia. Not in a way that it had suddenly been discovered, or had just come to my knowledge, but like i had been living it. What i saw in my dream was what must have happened the day or a few days before. I was feeling sick. I could actually feel the cancerous cells conquering my body through my blood. I got up and stood in front of the mirror. I looked pretty normal, but i saw myself as a cancer patient. And i percieved dark circles, falling hair and the likes. I was brushing my teeth and I thought.... Hey! i am feeling better today! Better than what? and then i thought... Wait!!! it was a dream!
Think of what psychology can do to us! What we think, that we become.
But the dream did have roots in my actual life.
I have not been in the pink of my health. I get tired, i have backaches, i dont eat, and have stamina in the negative. I know all this is because of my ignorance in the matters of eating and sleep. I sleep 4 hours a day on an average, i have just one meal a day. I hate milk. there's something about the way it smells.... many people tell me... why do you have to smell it before you drink it. But hey come on... i dont poke my nose into it, if i drink it, the smell, enters my nose, and as soon as the feel of the taste touches my tongue, i get repelled.This is making my health worse.I knew I was short of Calcium, vitamins and iron, and my sister had told me to get my blood checked for levels of haemoglobin.So this is where blood comes into picture.In my dream I developed blood cancer.
So in the evening I went to the doctor. He gave me a prescription which looked like weird things scribbled on a small piece of paper, but turned out to me massive! He gave me a big bottle of a tonic which is supposed to make me hungry. The sight of it makes me want to barf!There are two tablets atleast 15mm in length, and 10mm in width, which are supposed to be taken with a big glass of milk. These are calcium and vitamin supplements. All this because of a silly dream i had!!!!!!!
Well, atleast I know that what I have is weakness and not anything more than that!
I hope I get well soon!
Dreams....dreams.....dreams!!!!!
God and I
What I write here maybe in contrast to what lots of other people think, but what I have written here is just an expression of my mind. I do not intend to make any statements, or challenge anyone's beliefs.
I firmly believe in God, but God, to me, is a power, an Aura, a phenomenal energy. Not a person - not Ganesha, not Shiva. I am not challenging the beliefs of anybody. But all I am saying is that I associate the lords with religion not spirit. Religion is something that gives a protocol to abide by. Although I am not a believer in this, but, religion comes across to many people as a way to be in touch with or reach God. People who follow their religions feel assured that they are on the right path, and are on their way to god, or atleast make god happy. Religion is what makes them get through everyday in life. So if someday they are told that their religion is not true to them, or if they are made to see flaws in their religion, or if someone points a finger at their religion, they get aggressive or they feel shattered. How otherwise do you explain the fuss over The Da Vinci Code? Religion makes so many unjust things (and at times crimes) justified.
Yesterday i read about a practice in Jainism called "sallekhana". In this, old people who do not have to shoulder any responsibilities voluntarily go in for fasting to death. They don't even drink a sip of water and patiently wait for death to arrive.With all due respect to Jainis, I don't see how it is different from suicide! They believe it is a means to attain Nirvana!! They believe it will free them from the vicious circle of life and death. When the person dies there is a grand funeral procession which is called "Mrityu Mahotsav" (translates tocelebration of death!). The person who dies this way is placed in a seated position in a special seat, and is in the middle of the procession!! I cannot seem to put my feelings in words here.
Religion puts everything in black and white. Everything is either Satanic or Godly. It assigns boundaries, borders and classifications. If you do this you go to heaven, if not you go to hell. It tries to define everything that you do in life. Life is too big, to be written about in a little (or however large) script. Life is not just black and white, there are loads of shades of greys in between, and also reds, yellows, greens and blues for that matter!
People go through life searching for the purpose that the lords have assigned them. Or just the purpose of their life. The purpose of your life has nothing to do with your religion. Infact, you have to define the purpose of your life, you are not born with it. The purpose of your life is what you want to achieve, what to you aspire to be, where you see yourself. Maslow's need theory is more reasonable than religion! Self Actualisation is at the top. After you acheive all your needs... that is, the worldly needs....not Godly(!); you know what you are as a person, what is that which is most important to you.
Forget wondering what your life is about, and why have you been sent to the earth. There isn't any heavenly task that you are expected to acheive. Or if there is, the purpose of your life is to experience life!!! That's it!!!! You have been born into a certain place, to certain parents, have a set of friends and aquaintances, and all you have to do is experience life with all of them.
Materialism is not a sin!! What's important is not where you go after you die... but what happens while you are alive.
I have a friend who's email signature has always appealed to me. It says "Life's too short and life's too long to be somewhere you don't belong". You belong where you as a person want to be, not heaven or hell!!!
I am spiritual as a person, and i meditate. But I meditate because it brings me peace, meditation is also something spiritual to me. God - the power is what gets me through life, not religion. God is someone I can confide in, someone I can be myself with. I don't associate God with religion.
Regards,
Me
I firmly believe in God, but God, to me, is a power, an Aura, a phenomenal energy. Not a person - not Ganesha, not Shiva. I am not challenging the beliefs of anybody. But all I am saying is that I associate the lords with religion not spirit. Religion is something that gives a protocol to abide by. Although I am not a believer in this, but, religion comes across to many people as a way to be in touch with or reach God. People who follow their religions feel assured that they are on the right path, and are on their way to god, or atleast make god happy. Religion is what makes them get through everyday in life. So if someday they are told that their religion is not true to them, or if they are made to see flaws in their religion, or if someone points a finger at their religion, they get aggressive or they feel shattered. How otherwise do you explain the fuss over The Da Vinci Code? Religion makes so many unjust things (and at times crimes) justified.
Yesterday i read about a practice in Jainism called "sallekhana". In this, old people who do not have to shoulder any responsibilities voluntarily go in for fasting to death. They don't even drink a sip of water and patiently wait for death to arrive.With all due respect to Jainis, I don't see how it is different from suicide! They believe it is a means to attain Nirvana!! They believe it will free them from the vicious circle of life and death. When the person dies there is a grand funeral procession which is called "Mrityu Mahotsav" (translates tocelebration of death!). The person who dies this way is placed in a seated position in a special seat, and is in the middle of the procession!! I cannot seem to put my feelings in words here.
Religion puts everything in black and white. Everything is either Satanic or Godly. It assigns boundaries, borders and classifications. If you do this you go to heaven, if not you go to hell. It tries to define everything that you do in life. Life is too big, to be written about in a little (or however large) script. Life is not just black and white, there are loads of shades of greys in between, and also reds, yellows, greens and blues for that matter!
People go through life searching for the purpose that the lords have assigned them. Or just the purpose of their life. The purpose of your life has nothing to do with your religion. Infact, you have to define the purpose of your life, you are not born with it. The purpose of your life is what you want to achieve, what to you aspire to be, where you see yourself. Maslow's need theory is more reasonable than religion! Self Actualisation is at the top. After you acheive all your needs... that is, the worldly needs....not Godly(!); you know what you are as a person, what is that which is most important to you.
Forget wondering what your life is about, and why have you been sent to the earth. There isn't any heavenly task that you are expected to acheive. Or if there is, the purpose of your life is to experience life!!! That's it!!!! You have been born into a certain place, to certain parents, have a set of friends and aquaintances, and all you have to do is experience life with all of them.
Materialism is not a sin!! What's important is not where you go after you die... but what happens while you are alive.
I have a friend who's email signature has always appealed to me. It says "Life's too short and life's too long to be somewhere you don't belong". You belong where you as a person want to be, not heaven or hell!!!
I am spiritual as a person, and i meditate. But I meditate because it brings me peace, meditation is also something spiritual to me. God - the power is what gets me through life, not religion. God is someone I can confide in, someone I can be myself with. I don't associate God with religion.
Regards,
Me
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