Past in the present

When there is something that is a significant part of your memories from yesteryears.. formative years more so, you tend to want to do it over and over again. That can be a pattern of behaviour, that can be the songs you heard, that can be the food you ate, that can be the kind of people you grew up being fond of, that can be the kind of life you wanted for yourself. You want a replay of yesteryears to be embedded in your present somewhere. Some people want it very consciously, some people don't know they do.. but they too want a replay of the fond memories somewhere embedded in their day to day life. When it doesn't happen you find yourself looking for something that is missing. You may have had the most tumultuous childhood, but they were your golden years. They were when you were a naive innocent person. They were when you didn't think life had to be this tough. You want reminders and assurance that life is still good. 

Hope it turns out to be that way for all of us. 

Good luck. Dream on. :)

Love,
Doublelifer.

I am alive! (Yay!)

I'd been feeling this numbness in hands and feet after I abruptly woke up from sleep sometimes - especially in my hands. Particularly very noticably during flights.

It was a bit tingly and went away after a bit or after i flexed my hands. But it had me worried alright! The discomfort also catapulted since I had a couple of extremely long flights in a short period of time lately.

So the diagnosis began. The first couple of searches I did, I got things like Stroke, paralysis and well, rheumatoid arthritis.

A random conversation with my sister, and she tells me our aunt has begun developing rheumatoid arthritis. I didn't know about it. So I asked her to explain what that meant. As she explained, I felt - whoa! This is it! This is what has happened to me! I don't tell her that though.

I look it up on wiki. I look at the picture of the hand. I look at my hand. Well, my pinky finger has always been a little on a different angle from my other fingers. I take a picture of my hand to compare. My imagination starts running wild. As always.

The plot thickens.

I get reeeaally worried. Nooo! What about my 12 children from the future? What will happen to them if I am going to be terminally ill?

But I then got to this thread:

'Numbness in hand after waking up from sleep' on Wrong Diagnosis

Eureka! It's the posture! It's the posture!

I am ecstatic!

This makes more sense - and this was the only non-life-threatening; or atleast non chronic thing I could find. Even though, ironically, the site is called "wrong diagnosis". Well, in my case it doesn't seem so wrong. Atleast more right than all the other diagnoses I came up with. Rheumatoid arthritis can wait until I'm 45. Or something. Atleast? Please?  :-/

Lord! Am I turning into a hypochondriac? Or is it just that I am growing old!

Oh well...

Love and Good Health,  

Doublelifer