You Don't Have to be Okay

More often than not, we try to make things seem okay, because either we wish they were, or that's what's expected of us, which makes saying 'I'm okay' become the path of least resistance. And yet, nothing feels okay.

You may be scared, hurt, angry, sad, anxious, nervous, crushed; overcome with every emotion other than being okay.

It's easier to heal if you let things be, take their own course. Accept that you need healing. If you need time to heal, take time - don't push it. Personally, I don't think you really can push it. If you're not okay, you can mask it - you can try to hide it from yourself, as you can from others - but you cannot truly 'un-feel' the emotions you're feeling. You can disguise, yes.

To disguise or not - there's no right answer to that. You may not want interference, questions or curious eyes and ears prying upon you - I know I wouldn't. When you're hurting, when you're unsure, the last thing you want to think about is others' opinions of your feelings. If your feelings don't have enough space to breathe, it's natural to not want to give that space to another's.

I end up eventually feeling worse, if I feel that I am disguising my real feelings because I am 'supposed' to.

'Supposed' - how much I hate this word is probably a matter for another day. Let me just put it out there, that I don't appreciate being 'supposed' to be or do or say anything. I need to just be.

So, well, I think it's okay to think about yourself. If you're not in a good place, I know how difficult it is to look at a situation from someone else's point of view. It's okay to not want to be in someone else's shoes when your feet are sore.

It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to think about yourself. It's okay.

Here's a good write up on Thought Catalog on this subject. I agree with every word. :)

Love,
Nidhi

A Different Place

It's been close to four months in the new city, new country.

I'm getting by well enough, I would say.

I was looking for a big change, a big distraction, and this works fairly well in giving me the change I was craving. I wanted to break the old routine, and newer pastures were more than welcome. My stubborn want gave way to the present. All I did was open my arms that were too closely guarding the constant, the known, the habits. Is this what they call the law of attraction?

Being in the comfort zone for too long, and too deep, slowly chips away on the comfort in it. The zone itself starts to creep up on you and makes you want to run. One needs change, a stroll, new experiences ever so often. Moving on every now and then keeps you growing, keeps you going. Stagnation, well, not so much.

True for me atleast.

Don't stop. Keep experiencing, keep making yourself uncomfortable. The layer of discomfort and newness eventually sheds away to reveal new skin, and a fresh perspective. It mutes the noise for just long enough to remind you who you are. Reflect on the whats, whys and hows that matter most to you.

And then, repeat. When you think it is time.

Take charge. Run your show.

Be You.

Always.

Love,
Nidhi