SOS

It is annoying when people expect me to look good all the time, dressed perfectly, with perfect hair and a picture perfect bright expression and a smile on your face? I am sorry I cannot work according to your expectations all the time. People expect you to be perfect all the time, but don’t want you to be better than them. So when you do seem perfect they are jealous and when not, they point fingers and make fun of you. What the heck is their problem? Just get on with your lives and leave me alone.
There are going to be days I’m feeling down, days on which I don’t want to be sweet to everyone, days I don’t wanna listen to the problems in your life, days I am preoccupied with decisions of my life, days I may not wanna pay attention to my hair or my dress, days I don’t wanna be bothered at all.
There are going to be times that the food I cook may be short of salt, there are going to be times I’m going to spill milk while boiling, and there are going to be times I will forget to put sugar in the tea, there are going to be times I over or undercook food. I don’t want to be perfect, or I don’t want you to tell me I should be perfect or less than that. I want to be human.
There are going to be times when my bag gets torn, there are going to be times when my sandals get spoiled, there are going to be times I will want to watch stupid movies which do not seem to have intelligent storylines or perfect direction, there are going to be times I would want to listen to idiotic music, there are going to be times when I will read books that would seem unintelligent, there are going to be days I’ll seem clumsy, there are going to be times when my drawings will turn out to be miserable, there are going to be times I’ll sing cacophony, there are going to be times I’ll be conscious and nervous on stage, there are going to be times I would not know how to get on with a case study or a project, there are going to be times I’ll take bad decisions, there are going to be times when I’d be in a foul mood and want to take out my frustration on someone. I want to be rude to someone. I don’t wanna forgive you for things you do to me. Why do I have to be a nice person? Why?
I don’t wanna have times when I fail to see what people are actually like; I don’t want to be fooled. I don’t want you to get me all emotional and submit to your demands, and keep regretting later. I want to insult people if they humiliate me. I don’t want to be nice. I don’t. Nice people don’t get anywhere. They just get stamped on and run over.
I feel like a pressure cooker with all the steam building up inside me, and will blast some day.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!