The Maze

Six or seven years back I had read a book by some Russian author and the book was called the maze. This was the kind of image on it's cover...

The Indian woman...

Original by M.F.Hussain, recreated by me.
I was sitting in front of the telly and had this rough paper and pencil in my hand, i made this without even touching the eraser, turned out to be good! I wish i had used better paper.... but here's it...

A Sketch of David Duchovny

Frustoo

Hiii... found this image somewhere and just loved it!!!

Dark Distort

Hey guys... here's another image i created on my computer

The Brobdingnagian Prescription...

I dreamt yesterday that I had developed leukemia. This was not one of my pleasant dreams but, I am a total dreamer. My dreams seem very real, and at times I forget whether something that happened in a dream, or was it real. A lot of times things happen and I wonder hey how come this is happening this had (or had not) happened already. Then I realise, that it was just dream. The same way, when things are going exceptionally right, (or otherwise) i ask myself - is this for real?

So let me get back to what i was telling you. I dreamt that i had leukemia. People around me were upset, consoling me, and crying. And i sat in my bedroom chair without an opinion or expression. I was fed up with people coming up to me and being sweet to me because i was going to die. Whenever someone did that, all i could think of was how the person had been rude, insulting, knave or bitchy before, and that how he or she has very casually put on the goody goody mask.

(All I was worried about was my hair.... not death!)

The dream wasn't really dramatical, nor did it have a happy or sad ending, actually, it didn't have an ending at all... it was like a pretty normal day in my life.

This is where the dream ended

I woke up actually believing that I had leukemia. Not in a way that it had suddenly been discovered, or had just come to my knowledge, but like i had been living it. What i saw in my dream was what must have happened the day or a few days before. I was feeling sick. I could actually feel the cancerous cells conquering my body through my blood. I got up and stood in front of the mirror. I looked pretty normal, but i saw myself as a cancer patient. And i percieved dark circles, falling hair and the likes. I was brushing my teeth and I thought.... Hey! i am feeling better today! Better than what? and then i thought... Wait!!! it was a dream!

Think of what psychology can do to us! What we think, that we become.

But the dream did have roots in my actual life.

I have not been in the pink of my health. I get tired, i have backaches, i dont eat, and have stamina in the negative. I know all this is because of my ignorance in the matters of eating and sleep. I sleep 4 hours a day on an average, i have just one meal a day. I hate milk. there's something about the way it smells.... many people tell me... why do you have to smell it before you drink it. But hey come on... i dont poke my nose into it, if i drink it, the smell, enters my nose, and as soon as the feel of the taste touches my tongue, i get repelled.This is making my health worse.I knew I was short of Calcium, vitamins and iron, and my sister had told me to get my blood checked for levels of haemoglobin.So this is where blood comes into picture.In my dream I developed blood cancer.

So in the evening I went to the doctor. He gave me a prescription which looked like weird things scribbled on a small piece of paper, but turned out to me massive! He gave me a big bottle of a tonic which is supposed to make me hungry. The sight of it makes me want to barf!There are two tablets atleast 15mm in length, and 10mm in width, which are supposed to be taken with a big glass of milk. These are calcium and vitamin supplements. All this because of a silly dream i had!!!!!!!

Well, atleast I know that what I have is weakness and not anything more than that!

I hope I get well soon!

Dreams....dreams.....dreams!!!!!

God and I

What I write here maybe in contrast to what lots of other people think, but what I have written here is just an expression of my mind. I do not intend to make any statements, or challenge anyone's beliefs.

I firmly believe in God, but God, to me, is a power, an Aura, a phenomenal energy. Not a person - not Ganesha, not Shiva. I am not challenging the beliefs of anybody. But all I am saying is that I associate the lords with religion not spirit. Religion is something that gives a protocol to abide by. Although I am not a believer in this, but, religion comes across to many people as a way to be in touch with or reach God. People who follow their religions feel assured that they are on the right path, and are on their way to god, or atleast make god happy. Religion is what makes them get through everyday in life. So if someday they are told that their religion is not true to them, or if they are made to see flaws in their religion, or if someone points a finger at their religion, they get aggressive or they feel shattered. How otherwise do you explain the fuss over The Da Vinci Code? Religion makes so many unjust things (and at times crimes) justified.

Yesterday i read about a practice in Jainism called "sallekhana". In this, old people who do not have to shoulder any responsibilities voluntarily go in for fasting to death. They don't even drink a sip of water and patiently wait for death to arrive.With all due respect to Jainis, I don't see how it is different from suicide! They believe it is a means to attain Nirvana!! They believe it will free them from the vicious circle of life and death. When the person dies there is a grand funeral procession which is called "Mrityu Mahotsav" (translates tocelebration of death!). The person who dies this way is placed in a seated position in a special seat, and is in the middle of the procession!! I cannot seem to put my feelings in words here.

Religion puts everything in black and white. Everything is either Satanic or Godly. It assigns boundaries, borders and classifications. If you do this you go to heaven, if not you go to hell. It tries to define everything that you do in life. Life is too big, to be written about in a little (or however large) script. Life is not just black and white, there are loads of shades of greys in between, and also reds, yellows, greens and blues for that matter!

People go through life searching for the purpose that the lords have assigned them. Or just the purpose of their life. The purpose of your life has nothing to do with your religion. Infact, you have to define the purpose of your life, you are not born with it. The purpose of your life is what you want to achieve, what to you aspire to be, where you see yourself. Maslow's need theory is more reasonable than religion! Self Actualisation is at the top. After you acheive all your needs... that is, the worldly needs....not Godly(!); you know what you are as a person, what is that which is most important to you.

Forget wondering what your life is about, and why have you been sent to the earth. There isn't any heavenly task that you are expected to acheive. Or if there is, the purpose of your life is to experience life!!! That's it!!!! You have been born into a certain place, to certain parents, have a set of friends and aquaintances, and all you have to do is experience life with all of them.

Materialism is not a sin!! What's important is not where you go after you die... but what happens while you are alive.

I have a friend who's email signature has always appealed to me. It says "Life's too short and life's too long to be somewhere you don't belong". You belong where you as a person want to be, not heaven or hell!!!

I am spiritual as a person, and i meditate. But I meditate because it brings me peace, meditation is also something spiritual to me. God - the power is what gets me through life, not religion. God is someone I can confide in, someone I can be myself with. I don't associate God with religion.

Regards,
Me

Problem Child or Problem Parent????

I am not a parent, and i am definitely not qualified enough to give expert comments on parenting. Keeping in mind that I just came out of the so called teen age, i won't be making any statements, but just presenting before you my opinions on the topic.


The phenomena of becoming a parent has often been described as the most wonderful feeling in the world. But becoming a parent is not just about giving birth to your offspring. Even two animals when put together will mate and produce a child. But shouldnt there be a significant difference between this process of childbirth and parenting of the human beings and other animals? Man is supposed to be the most intelligent being. that gives him added responsibility in everything he does. The probability of error should be minimal when the case of man is being studied. If man (I am referring to the Homo sapien and not a specific gender), has been given this life and unmatchable intellect, and has been given the ability to bring another life into this world, he certainly is responsible what becomes of the being that he has created.


Once your child comes into this world, you become a parent for life. not just for that moment, not just for the formative years, but forever. But without doubt, the formative years determine the major part of the personality, attitudes, and the life that your child is going to live. You learn from your surroundings, and all that which is present in the immediate living environment is what affects you the most. You are the centre of the world for your child (atleast for a few years when he's born, if not more), and he will look upto you, and learn from your attitude, your behaviour, your reactions. He does not have an understanding of the existence of right and wrong. a child's mind has been compared to Wet clay, which once given shape cannot be budged; and, Sponge which absorbs all the water it can. But the difference is that, sponge can be squeezed and the water can simply be drained. The sponge of the child's mind, matures with time, and what it has absorbed, remains inside. Parents should be extremely careful of what happens around the child.


I may sound like too much of an extremist, but sometimes I feel that there should be some qualification exam before anyone can become a parent. What should be tested is not the intellect and education, but responsibility, attitude and the like, so that the child to be born does not have to face difficult times at home atleast.Parents are supposed to be the only people in the world who are going to be there for you, who will teach you what you need to go through life, and will help you achieve your goals. But life becomes very hard to live if even your parents are preoccupied with their quarrels and egos, and the child feels abandoned. He grows up feeling the same, with mental blocks and biased views of the world. His decision making ability will be affected. He may seem like a perfectly normal person to you, but in the mind of the desolate person there is agony, there is pain, there is confusion, there is fear - fear of connecting, fear of losing people. There is a feeling of inferiority, which is often masked by a superiority complex.


All this and more can be avoided just by two people caring for each other and the child. The child becomes what he sees. I believe any two individuals who decide to become parents should do a whole lot of thinking, and then if they are sure that they will be able to and will provide a healthy and happy environment should they go ahead. Nobody's losing anything here... the parents will be happy and so will the child.

Regards,
Me

A picture by me

Okay guys..... I guess i wasnt clear. I made it with an ms-paint like software. not ms-paint itself. So the crayon or chalk like effect wasnt a big deal. Tell me what you think of the picture now.

Selective Amnesia??

I read this in the Times of India, and found it worth thinking it over. This was in a section called mind over matter, which i always pay a lot of attention to. I guess I am pretty true to my species! I mean the female species, not the human. The symbol that represents the females, that has a circle above a cross sign signifies the superiority of spirit over matter. And that is exactly the way I am.

There was an article which said that someone (i really can't recall exactly who!) has suggested deletion of certain parts of ancient scriptures because they are derogatory. The person also claims the support of sankaracharya of a particular mutt and they are seeking support of sankaracharyas of other mutts as well.

Tulsidas quotes "Dhol gawar shudra pashu nari, yeh sab taaran ke adhikari". Which translates to - Drums, illiterate, Dalits and Women are all meant to be beaten. Another scripture prohibits he listening of vedas by the dalits, and says that the punishment for the dalits if found listening to the holy texts is poring molten lead into their ears! If they are found chanting the holy scriptures and shlokas there tongues should be cut off!

These definitely are not fit for the society that exists today, and its a pity that these were actually practiced at some time.... but is deletion of parts of ancient texts a solution to any problem? This is the height of political correctness. If the man (who suggested this), and the sankaracharyas actually want to work for the cause of the upliftment of women, and the weaker parts of the society, they should understand what and why the history was like it was, and why and how should the society change for better now. They must think of doing something in the present- in the now- and not try changing the past.

Superiority is not in being superior to someone else, but being superior to your own previous self. Its too easy to say that you want to reform the society, what counts is the action. I have this Dennis poster in my room that says "Action speak louder than words... Prove your worth!" how true!

Throw in your comments

Love
Devil's own

Laugh a while

A man with a strange problem pays a visit to a psychiatrist. The problem is that the man thinks that he is dead. The psychiatrist tries with all his skills, reason and wit to convince him otherwise, but the man won't budge.
The Psychiatrist makes him sit in front of a mirror and asks him to keep repeating to himself while sitting there "Dead men don't bleed" for three hours.
The man sincerely obliges.
After three hours the psychiatrist returns and pricks the man's finger with a blade, and it begins to bleed.
The psychiatrist says "There, now what does this prove?"
The man replied "Dead men Do bleed"!!!!!!!!

Passing Thought.....

I am patient with stupidity, but not those who are proud of it!

The Diary of a Young Girl

Hi all

I have been reading The diary of a young girl by Anne Frank. It's pretty interesting and you read atleast something in every book you read that makes your mind tick. I found so many things about Anne that were like me, but ofcourse so many more which were nothing like me.
For those of you who do not know, I'll introduce you to the book. It has been written during the second world war from 1942 to 1944. A young jewish girl (Anne) gets a diary as a present on her birthday and begins writing in it. She is popular among friends, and has boys always asking her out. She has atleast 20 people to call friends, but still there's no body who she can confide in, no body with who she can talk about her thought. Her friends are too childish for her. So she chooses her diary to talk to.

She talks about the conditions that were being faced by jews around her. She lives in Holland. Although her family is quite well off, and is living in better conditions than millions of people. The family makes preparations to go into hiding. Most of the things that they would require to live comfortably are sent through friends and relatives to the place where they later went to hide in. The franks (anne's family) move in there with another family called the van dans. Its amazing how despite the war, and presence of more important issues to deal with, there still are bitter arguments and disagreements over such petty things, both within and among the families. They still are fighting over whose crockery and china would be used.
But also, inspite of the conditions they are living in they celebrate birthdays and holidays, and give each other whatever little presents they can manage to get. Still celebrating the good things in life. But the horror of being killed at anytime still remains in their minds.
In her family, there's her father and her mother, and her elder siser Margot. Margot is more beautiful, more attractive, more sensible, well mannered, and is loved by everyone. Anne loves her sister, but sometimes feels the need to be appreciated herself. Her sister is more passive, and anne is more frank and forthright.

I guess this is enough about the book.

Now...

I had been feeling miserable, and i even cried. Why is not important here. My friend was trying to make me feel better, and she talked about another friend of mine who is facing a really bad time, and is in a soup.

You must have definitely heard something like .... i cried that i had no shoes, until i met a man who had no feet. Well sounds touchy, and does make sense. especially when you compare shoes and feet. But when you are actually feeling blue, things like these don't help.
Atleast they don't help me.

To think of this, i feel how selfish can I get? the other person, cant even get a good night's sleep, and i am getting all worked up about my little worries.

Now why I talked about the book was this,
there was a part in the book, where a lady talks to anne's mother about something that was troubling her, to which she replied think abt all the misery that the people are facing bcoz of the war, think of the misery in th world and thank god you are not a part of it. we are so much better here.

Anne wrote in her diary, that it is of no help thinking of misery when you are miserable yourself.
This one sentence made so much sense to me, that i sat thinking about it, and related it to myself, and that day, when i thought myself to be so selfish.
I'll read on, and tell you if i come across something else interesting.

Keep your comments coming. Tell me what you thing of this, and do tell me if you also read something or watched something happen, or tv,which got you thinking, or got u a new perspective. I'll post it as a blog here.

Ciao
Love,
Devil's own