Problem Child or Problem Parent????

I am not a parent, and i am definitely not qualified enough to give expert comments on parenting. Keeping in mind that I just came out of the so called teen age, i won't be making any statements, but just presenting before you my opinions on the topic.


The phenomena of becoming a parent has often been described as the most wonderful feeling in the world. But becoming a parent is not just about giving birth to your offspring. Even two animals when put together will mate and produce a child. But shouldnt there be a significant difference between this process of childbirth and parenting of the human beings and other animals? Man is supposed to be the most intelligent being. that gives him added responsibility in everything he does. The probability of error should be minimal when the case of man is being studied. If man (I am referring to the Homo sapien and not a specific gender), has been given this life and unmatchable intellect, and has been given the ability to bring another life into this world, he certainly is responsible what becomes of the being that he has created.


Once your child comes into this world, you become a parent for life. not just for that moment, not just for the formative years, but forever. But without doubt, the formative years determine the major part of the personality, attitudes, and the life that your child is going to live. You learn from your surroundings, and all that which is present in the immediate living environment is what affects you the most. You are the centre of the world for your child (atleast for a few years when he's born, if not more), and he will look upto you, and learn from your attitude, your behaviour, your reactions. He does not have an understanding of the existence of right and wrong. a child's mind has been compared to Wet clay, which once given shape cannot be budged; and, Sponge which absorbs all the water it can. But the difference is that, sponge can be squeezed and the water can simply be drained. The sponge of the child's mind, matures with time, and what it has absorbed, remains inside. Parents should be extremely careful of what happens around the child.


I may sound like too much of an extremist, but sometimes I feel that there should be some qualification exam before anyone can become a parent. What should be tested is not the intellect and education, but responsibility, attitude and the like, so that the child to be born does not have to face difficult times at home atleast.Parents are supposed to be the only people in the world who are going to be there for you, who will teach you what you need to go through life, and will help you achieve your goals. But life becomes very hard to live if even your parents are preoccupied with their quarrels and egos, and the child feels abandoned. He grows up feeling the same, with mental blocks and biased views of the world. His decision making ability will be affected. He may seem like a perfectly normal person to you, but in the mind of the desolate person there is agony, there is pain, there is confusion, there is fear - fear of connecting, fear of losing people. There is a feeling of inferiority, which is often masked by a superiority complex.


All this and more can be avoided just by two people caring for each other and the child. The child becomes what he sees. I believe any two individuals who decide to become parents should do a whole lot of thinking, and then if they are sure that they will be able to and will provide a healthy and happy environment should they go ahead. Nobody's losing anything here... the parents will be happy and so will the child.

Regards,
Me